Plucky Letters to US soldiers in Iraq

Tuesday, March 13, 2007


Dear Army Guys,

I trust you are all healthy, well-rested, wearing clean socks, and eating a nutritionally balanced diet. You know what they say: YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT. (And, whoever “they” are, they’re probably right.) You don’t need to be fanatical about it, though. As long as you eat a wide array of foods in various colors and shapes you should be fine. You don’t need to worry about whether or not your food is “organic” enough, either.

Personally, I’m sick and damned tired of hearing about “organic” food. What kind of food is NOT organic? I mean, c’mon, anything that rots is organic. Am I the only consumer in America who took 9th grade biology? Does anybody really think they can buy a head of lettuce that won’t decompose if they leave it lying around for a couple of weeks?

I get really pissed off at the grocery store when I see vegetables specially labeled “organic.” For cripes sake, ALL vegetables are organic! What kind of biologically impaired idiots are running the grocery store business these days? Are these grocery store management people merely ignorant, or are they just bald-faced liars? Inquiring minds should want to know.

Yesterday I saw two bunches of carrots sitting right next to each other in the produce section of my friendly neighborhood grocery store. One bunch was labeled, CARROTS, and sold for about a dollar. The other bunch was labeled, ORGANIC CARROTS, and cost $2.49. Excuse me? Do the grocery store people think I am stupid enough to believe there is such a thing as an INORGANIC carrot?

Yeah, sure, there are realistic-looking fake fruits and vegetables for sale at Hobby Lobby, but I’ve always just assumed everybody knew they were decorations. And even if you didn’t recognize this right from the get-go, surely you’d figure it out soon enough. How many bites of a plastic banana would it take to convince a guy he’s eating something that’s not “ORGANIC?”

I guess I wouldn’t mind so much if these ridiculous fad foods were labeled properly as ORGANICALLY GROWN, rather than just, ORGANIC. But maybe that’s just me being… me. I’m one of those snoots who complain to store management because the express lanes are improperly labeled 10 ITEMS OR LESS instead of 10 ITEMS OR FEWER.

I know it’s petty, but it drives me crazy anyway.
I hope all of you are eating well and wearing clean socks.

Much Love,

--An Army Mom ♥