Plucky Letters to US soldiers in Iraq

Dear Army Guys,
I noticed something disturbing last night when I put on the Tinkerbell pajamas I purchased on our recent visit to Disney World. Tinkerbell looks an awful lot like a young Hillary Clinton. I know you’re probably saying, “Get OUT, she does not!” Well, she does, and unfortunately once you’ve noticed the remarkable similarity you can’t unnoticed it. Here, take a look for yourself:

(picture of Tinkerbell)

See what I mean? I’m trying to carry on with my life as if this were no big deal, but I could lose some sleep over it. I mean, who wants to go to bed at night wearing Hillary Clinton pajamas? And once I started thinking about it I realized Tink also sort of looks like Ellen Degeneres, which, believe me, is no help at all. The entire train of thought just leads me further and further from getting full enjoyment out of my new Disney pajamas. I’m not giving up, though. Sooner or later I’m going to come up with someone else Tinkerbell looks like, and by gosh it’d better be someone I can sleep with. Figuratively speaking, of course.


I guess I should give you an update on the stupid mourning dove living in my hanging flower basket. It’s still there and at least one of the eggs hatched already. I only got a brief glimpse of the fuzzy little thing and, frankly, it looked dead to me. But Mama Bird apparently doesn’t agree since she’s more protective than ever. No amount of shouting and waving will make her fly away now. Yesterday I caught her in the act of poking around beneath herself with her beak. Maybe she was feeding that dead chick somehow. She stopped as soon as she saw me watching and tried to act all casual, as if nothing’s going on in there. It’s obvious that she suspects me of being some sort of vicious predator. That hardly seems fair since I’m letting her live rent-free in my hanging flower basket. Does she have any idea what that thing would go for in a place like Manhattan? Birds would literally knock each other off ledges to get into a nice basket like that. New York City birds would pay big night-crawler sized deposits just to get on the waiting list. This stupid bird is just plain ungrateful if you ask me.


Much Love,

--An Army Mom