Links
Archives
- 09/01/2003 - 10/01/2003
- 10/01/2003 - 11/01/2003
- 11/01/2003 - 12/01/2003
- 12/01/2003 - 01/01/2004
- 01/01/2004 - 02/01/2004
- 02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004
- 09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
- 10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
- 11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
- 12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005
- 01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005
- 02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005
- 03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005
- 04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005
- 05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005
- 06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005
- 07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005
- 08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005
- 09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005
- 10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005
- 11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005
- 12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006
- 02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006
- 03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006
- 05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006
- 06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006
- 06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007
My wildly entertaining letters to my son and other American Soldiers suffering in Iraq and elsewhere...posted in no particular chronological order.
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
January 20, 2005
Dear Robby,
HAPPY INAUGURATION DAY!
(Meet the new boss, same as the old boss. Literally.)
It’s probably for the best that President & Mrs. Bush forgot to invite me to the inaugural ball this year. (I’m sure it was just an oversight, and I hope they manage to have a good time without me.) I am exhibiting symptoms of a new and different illness.
Nobody cares, though. I think everybody is sick and tired of me being sick and tired. The travesty of my ill health is no longer of interest to anyone but me and my mother. Honestly, how many strains of the common cold can one person have in any given year? According to my high school biology teacher, once you’ve had a particular virus you’re supposed to be immune to it for life. But I’ve been catching a new cold roughly every three weeks. Mr. Lenning obviously didn’t know jack about viruses.
Or would that be “viri?” Hmm. I’ll go look it up. Webster’s New World dictionary doesn’t give the plural for virus. I typed [plural of virus] into Google and found this:
The plural of virus is neither viri nor virii, nor even vira nor virora. It is quite simply viruses, irrespective of context. Google & Learn, that’s what I always say. Actually, I’ve never said that before, but I will from now on.
Irrelevant tangential asides aside, I can’t for the life of me figure out how I have managed to catch so many versions of the common cold in one season. I might be a prospective entrant in The Guinness Book of World Records. Perhaps I should call them up and ask if “cold catching” is a legitimate category. If they want proof, I’ll send them a few of my used facial tissues every three week. If they analyze my snot in their lab, I’m quite certain they’ll find I’ve been host to every available cold virus extant, both foreign and domestic. Do they pay people to be in The Guinness Book of World Records? Probably not, but the publicity might raise public awareness of my plight. Maybe somebody will send me a few boxes of Kleenex.
Much Love,
--Mom
Dear Robby,
HAPPY INAUGURATION DAY!
(Meet the new boss, same as the old boss. Literally.)
It’s probably for the best that President & Mrs. Bush forgot to invite me to the inaugural ball this year. (I’m sure it was just an oversight, and I hope they manage to have a good time without me.) I am exhibiting symptoms of a new and different illness.
Nobody cares, though. I think everybody is sick and tired of me being sick and tired. The travesty of my ill health is no longer of interest to anyone but me and my mother. Honestly, how many strains of the common cold can one person have in any given year? According to my high school biology teacher, once you’ve had a particular virus you’re supposed to be immune to it for life. But I’ve been catching a new cold roughly every three weeks. Mr. Lenning obviously didn’t know jack about viruses.
Or would that be “viri?” Hmm. I’ll go look it up. Webster’s New World dictionary doesn’t give the plural for virus. I typed [plural of virus] into Google and found this:
The plural of virus is neither viri nor virii, nor even vira nor virora. It is quite simply viruses, irrespective of context. Google & Learn, that’s what I always say. Actually, I’ve never said that before, but I will from now on.
Irrelevant tangential asides aside, I can’t for the life of me figure out how I have managed to catch so many versions of the common cold in one season. I might be a prospective entrant in The Guinness Book of World Records. Perhaps I should call them up and ask if “cold catching” is a legitimate category. If they want proof, I’ll send them a few of my used facial tissues every three week. If they analyze my snot in their lab, I’m quite certain they’ll find I’ve been host to every available cold virus extant, both foreign and domestic. Do they pay people to be in The Guinness Book of World Records? Probably not, but the publicity might raise public awareness of my plight. Maybe somebody will send me a few boxes of Kleenex.
Much Love,
--Mom
Comments:
Post a Comment
Kitchen Etc